Tags
books, childhood, children, confession, growing up, humor, memories
Age 5: Driving in the car with my dad, he once asked me to hold his coffee. I spent the rest of the trip crouched on the floor, hiding and praying that the police wouldn’t catch us for drinking and driving.
Age 7: One night I borrowed my brother’s 
extra fuzzy blanket. I spent the entire night wide awake and afraid of the indoor lightning storm.
The next morning my mom told me about static cling.
Age 10: A lady on a TV show had cancer. When she touched her hair it fell out in clumps. I tried the ‘cancer test’ too. I could pull out my hair easily enough. I spent most of grade five thinking I wouldn’t live to see grade six.
Age 10 and 3/4: Another lady on TV said a lack of vitamins could lead to hair loss. I was relieved to find out I probably didn’t have cancer after all. I vowed to eat more vegetables.
Age 13: I read a lot of books about girls who saw ghost horses or who discovered new worlds. I desperately wanted to experience an adventure like the ones in my books so I decided to pretend to see a ghost during my class presentation.
Too shy to scream AHHH! A GHOST! I repeatedly looked into a corner of the room, trying to look scared of a ghost.
The teacher just thought I was nervous.
And when my friend asked What was wrong? You looked so upset. I couldn’t bring myself to actually tell her I’d seen a ghost when I hadn’t. I replied Oh, nothing.
Age 17: Driving down a gravel road in the prairies, I lost control of the car. As the car rolled over and over I kept thinking Am I dead yet? Am I dead yet? I wanted to be conscious of the moment I lost consciousness.
Landing upside-down in a farmer’s field, I had to kick the open the door in order to get out. I felt like the Dukes of Hazzard… kind of cool.
I’m not dead. Crap, mom is going to kill me.
Worried that my mom was going to be upset about the car, I tried to lift the car to set it right-side-up… kind of uncool. Not sure what I was thinking.
So there you have it, the confessions of a kooky kid.
How about you? Anything you’d like to confess? Your secrets are safe with me.
My older sister used to listen to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack over and over again. I somehow created a whole fictional world of monsters led by the Phantom, but I knew I’d be safe if I just kept my blankets over my head while sleeping.
Thanks for sharing your great kid moments. Sometimes, I wish my imagination and logic was still so pure.
It seems to be a universal truth for kids that under the blankets is a safe zone… my daughter might hide under a blanket or simply just cover her eyes. Her logic: I can’t see you therefore you can’t see me.
Music in general can profoundly spark the imagination… your Phantom world must have been awfully amazing.
Age 9 or so – We were driving across Canada/the States to Ontario and when we stopped for gas, I heard one of my parents say we didn’t have any money to pay for it. I didn’t understand that she meant they didn’t have any cash on hand but we could use a credit card, so I was SO worried about us being on this trip without any money at all.
How long was it before you were relieved of your fears? Did you express concern to your parents? Or go the whole trip with your worries?
It makes me wonder what things I might say that the kids will mistake meaning.