A Costly Hope
There are hurts a man buries deep. He does it to keep their jagged edges from piercing those he loves, or crippling his very spirit, or decaying into blasphemous bitterness.
I carried mine wrapped securely in a shroud of faithfulness. Faithful to my wife Elizabeth. Faithful to my priestly duties. Faithful to my God. The same God who showed me no outstanding sin, yet year after year withheld His primal blessing from my dear Elizabeth.
As tears flowed into her childless hands I held her tight, and my own hurt tighter, driving it down, down, down. Down so deep, wrapped so tight, I thought I couldn’t find it anymore.
Until the angel came! “A baby,” he said. “Like in spirit unto Elijah,” he told me. “A way-maker for the Lord Himself,” he declared.
My heart leapt at his words, but bile filled my mouth. So many years swallowing disappointment, this promise like a fist to the gut, brought it all back up.
“How can I know?”
Hope costs so much you see. I couldn’t afford it, not anymore.
by Susan Horikiri
Question: Have you ever felt God let you down?
Together: Take a moment to tell God how you feel about this (silently, unless you feel comfortable sharing.)
Prayer: Thank you, Father, that you know us and love us. Help us to trust you, even with the places inside us that hurt, especially with the places that hurt. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
A Costly Hope © 2013 by Susan Horikiri. Used with permission.
© Kelly Dycavinu, Popcorn with a Spoon 2013. Excerpts and links may be used, provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Kelly Dycavinu, Popcorn with a Spoon 2013 https://kellydycavinu.wordpress.com/